ererifuckers:

Canonverse where Eren and Levi are already in an established relationship. Turns out that no one ever really told him that only women can have babies, so one day Eren finds out that Levi had once considered children —

“Levi, let me bare your children.”

“Eren—”

Eren grabs his hands, expression earnest and cute that Levi forgets what he wants to say, “I’m ready, Levi. I’m ready to take the next step with you and start a family.”

And instead of correcting him, Levi pounces on Eren so they can make babies. Only, months later —

Eren shifts around in bed, a frustrated scowl on his face as he adjusts his position. Maybe if he lays down this way his sperm will be in prime position for fertilization via Levi’s sperm. “Why am I not pregnant yet…?”

“It’s okay, Eren,” Levi consoles, “we just have to keep trying.”

Needless to say, Levi doesn’t have it in his heart to tell Eren the truth.